From care receiver to caregiver

Conflict between siblings and siblings-in-law, in other words, family confrontation over the care of parents as they age.

Couples also resent it if one does not have the support of the other, since the caregiver suffers greatly seeing the parent deteriorate physically and mentally.

Declining elder parents can become the focus in the family if their care stresses an otherwise happy family. Many times, conflicts could be avoided with the help of a mediator.

Our day-to-day existence is already sufficiently overwhelmed with work, family, children and social life that when these needs arise, we must know how to also fit in the care of parents.

Sometimes it will be necessary to decide if they will need a caregiver from outside the family or to plan which days siblings will take care of them. On other occasions they will need to decide whether to accommodate the care receiver in a nursing home or if they will move to live with a child as long as one of them can accommodate them.

There will be many obstacles to overcome throughout these different scenarios because on only a very few occasions does the situation flow smoothly. In most cases conflicts unfortunately arise due to living in close quarters, the absence of help from any of the siblings, or to the attitude of the older person.

With the mediator, the relationship between family members would be improved and a possible family breakdown would be avoided.

There will be those who have time but not financial capacity, others who will not be able to allocate time and dedication because they reside far from the parents, but will be able to compensate them financially or during the holidays, and there will be those who simply will not be able to help with time or money.

There will always be the possibility of finding formulas and solutions to these family conflicts and finding a way to compensate siblings who have been able to dedicate themselves more to the parents, especially if the parties are open to dialogue and are convinced that they are going to mediation voluntarily and with the intention that they will be able to solve the conflict through intergenerational mediation.

A pretty inspiring phrase from Goethe said:

“What you inherit from your father must first be earned before it's yours.”

M.Jesus Salinas

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